her she is pregnant, says the doctor. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA Hello. An Irish man walks past a bar. A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor. #2. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.. Template with funny dancing people in. Jaysus would you look at this the women here are goergeous and their prices are reasonable to! The man from the window company called Miss OLeary on the telephone. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The Irish donkey is a medium-sized breed of donkey native to Ireland. Youre Late General This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. The cop stopped after a few minutes and told those waiting to cross the road, Okay pedestrians, he said, Lets go. The old donkey stood there quietly contemplating for a moment "How much would it be to put an ad in your paper?" "Five pounds an inch," a woman replies. You were diddled. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? I will, says the friend. If you enjoyed this post please pin the image below to your Pinterest board or share this on social media. So he carved one out of wood. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. The interviewer looked at the drawings and said: But that is not ninety-nine! Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman, Dirty tree + dirty tree + dirty tree make ninety-nine., The interviewer was now a bit cheesed off, so he decided to do the Irishman once and for all; therefore, he handed the paper back to the Irishman and asked him to make it 100. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Paddy feared his wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. He packed his bag that night and drove to Dublin. What did the waiter say to the donkey? I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? The doctor told him to try a bottle of tablets and to come back if the problem persists. After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. What do the donkeys on Blackpool pleasure beach get for lunch? Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Why didn't the donkey move to the farm on the moon? But this is a newsagents'. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. Please tell me it was quick? And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure. This time the Englishman is really mad! Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. "How's the stutter?", asks the doctor. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Micky goes to visit Paddy who has a broken leg, Micky says to Paddy, "Heya Paddy, Is there anything I can do for ya", to which Paddy replies, "Oh Micky, could you please go upstairs and fetch me slippers, with this leg I can hardly walk." Dats simple. As Paddys dashboard clock Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. What are you selling?" Read at your own risk: These jokes pack quite a kick. he did surely.. Youve done very well so far, said Chris Tarrant, the shows presenter, but for a million euros, youve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. could just make it to the track in time to place a bet. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! What do you get when you have Avogadros number of donkeys? In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Mule-tide greetings! After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the presidents office. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? Unique artwork for posting words of wisdom or decorating your wall, fridge or office. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. They didnt do it last year.. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Find funny jokes about donkeys here. No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar? Is that your final answer? asked Chris. pint, then silently stands up, walks to the door, opens it and leaves. with John Joe OReilly, answers Murphy he fecking well attacked me, What do little donkeys send at Christmas? F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. Beginning to get a bit irritated, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol? The men once again shake their heads. Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. As luck would have it Paddy The walls opened, and the lady got between them and got into a small room. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Paddy says, underneath the shoe, it says Taiwan.. Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Join here. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. "Can't do that," replied the farmer. They all go o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. Tony, he called. Anything you like, he cant hear you! When do donkeys have six legs? Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. Portrait of a cute highland cattle. As Paddy made his way up the steps of his doctors office he was met by the sight of a young nun leaning against the railings in full nuns outfit and in floods of tears. Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? RELATED: 130+ Jokes So Bad Theyre Actually Good. What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . Those on foot would cross the street. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. He waits and waits. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! Stanton told ABC News he was shocked to hear her sing. What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? Theres a dance over at the club, he said. Just ask a farmer! Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. Its all for the craic. happend to your head? Asks the barman, referring to the fact that both I cant stand this. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at Collins again, and says, I just screwed your mum, and it was grand!, Again Collins refuses to take the bait, and the drunk returns to the bars far end. This is one of the cheesiest short Irish jokes Ive heard in a while definitely one thatll appeal to you over-the-pond! So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? Well, most of it! The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. Surely you must lose every now and then? Collins, of course, being What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? You An Irish man took his old donkey to the beach to try and make a bit of money. 65.1k 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 AM TODAY MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. But Paddy could hardly ignore the fact that Mick was very well endowed. Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. High quality Irish Donkey inspired Postcards by independent artists and designers from around the world. The conversation . . As hes drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, Hey, whats that little green thing down there? 1. A man sitting on a donkey! A man loads a burden onto his donkey and says, Patient: Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.. Below, youll find a handful of clean Irish jokes. Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this post, I send them out in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday. Did you not have anything in - Irish donkey. When she answered the door, Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the brewery, was stood on the doorstep. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. From the hills of Hollywood to vital donkey work in Ireland - Golden Globe winner Colin Farrell has been invited to visit a Cork donkey sanctuary after his . This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. later Fr. Finnegan is drunk as usual. Once he eventually caught up to her, he asked why the hell she ran away like that. He stops the donkey and decides that he is going to ride it. Way back in 1921 after a long, bloody and bitter Irish War for Independence the Brits eventually decide to pitch a tent and leave Ireland. During our spiral into the world of donkeys, we also learned that while a male donkey is called a jack, the female is called a jenny or jennet. Five minutes later he calls the desk and says. That does it, he shouted, Hunchback! He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys. Take a look at it below. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Everything is riding on this question. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA. Alaska donkey. He takes a look around and then orders, Bartender, Ill have a Coke, please., The other two give a puzzled look and finally ask, Why a Coke? The brewmaster from Guinness answers, Well, I figured if you lads werent drinking beer yet, I could hold off for a wee bit.. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. . Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? They say "Nah your lying." There is silence. Thank you citizens you may continue with your lives. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Why did the donkey cross the road? ". Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! Youll never do it Paddy!, So Paddy goes in and spends a full 10 minutes in the room and comes out, Fu****g hell Paddy!!! Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. great tip for the three-thirty and if you just give me the speeding ticket I She replied, After a while the seed started to grow more and more. Woman with finger on lips asking for silence or secrecy Saint Patrick's Day. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. They didnt do it last year.. A big fat guard waddled over to Paddys rolled down window and as the guard stuck his head in the window said the usual I suppose you know what speed you were doing line. The drunk shouts, " Yes, I am. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. Haha. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. The walls magically closed, and the boy and his father watched in amazement as the small numbers above the wall lit up sequentially. Confused, the Forman asked, dont you mean the Sahara Desert?, A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, Get me a Guinness before it starts. The wife sighs and gets him a Guinness. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? Try Not To Laugh Challenge This was very funny jigsaw puzzle challenge. One of the Irishmen tapped his friendon the shoulder. Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! Be Jaysus says the Hunchback!. From $1. Cant just take your word for it. Ill bet any man in What a funny joke, Human! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. usual crowd of regulars, all minding their own business or talking quietly in After an inspection, he agrees there is no constipation and no white dots, so he pays up the 200 as agreed. "I'm having a great time" People around me "O my god, are you Irish?" I was like "Aye" "What part of Ireland are you from?" "Uhh. The president was happy to oblige. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. The preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He was known as "Humanity Dick", a nickname bestowed on him by King George IV. guard might do him a favour and write up the ticket fairly sharpish. one after the other straight down the hatch answers the Yank. The other builders are wondering how he could afford it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting better pay. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. They danced until the cafe closed, and the band was packing up. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Well, I was thinkin. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? the man asks. Oh yes, it most certainly is, said the Irishman with a much broader Irish accent, Dirty tree and a turd + dirty tree and turd + dirty tree and a turd, make a 100. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. Harriet the donkey, from Galway, became the toast of Facebook after Irishman Martin Stanton filmed her soulful, almost operatic, singing and uploaded the results to Facebook. Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? Oh, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs Murphy. I'm not sure. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. Ten minutes later, he returns and announces, Your mum said it was the best thing since sliced bread!, Finally, Collins interrupts. , Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys. Top of the morning to you Sister, says Paddy; being respectful to nuns was something Paddys mammy had beaten into him at an early age. Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! The other lad filling them in. It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Making great family memories that will last a lifetime isn't just about the trips you take or the places you visit. Didnt you try to defend lovely to fondle, its feck-all use as a bloody weapon.. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. I replied, No, deadass!, At the wedding, the priest said, Well, this is refreshing. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Ive heard you Irish Well blow me down, says the Yank as he hands over five crisp American one-hundred dollar bills into Paddys outstretched hands. My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. But Shur, who cares? FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. Ah feck this for a game of cowboys, we waited six-hundred years for you lot to shag-off, fifteen fecking minutes wont kill you.. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. Where do you find a donkey with no legs? There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer! Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork. He pinned the note inside the little dogs collar and told the dog to go straight home. Why did the donkey cross the road? Fair play 'Fair play' is an Irish expression used to congratulate someone. All I had in me hand was his wifes left boob and while its Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. This section is just for you. The sturdy creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now. Coupled with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well, theyre veritable laugh factories. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. Many tried, all failed. Eoin English. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old-style train, there were no lights in the carriages, and it went completely dark. The American takes first and takes the dragon out for a weekend in Vegas. To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.. He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. !, asked the patient. Fr. "Paddy jokes" are St. Patrick's Day favorites. The Scotsman fishes out the fly and continues to drink. Parlez-vous Francais, he asks. Ready to laugh your er, butt off? He invited her to sit down. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. What his advice and was well pleased with the result. Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appear to havefailed. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. "Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom. What are you after doing? replied his wife. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Here is your money .. She replies, "He's over in Rome. When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly floating around in it. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. The Irishman replies, Have some respect. I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you know that this car doesnt have cruise control. As the garda writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, Cant you please keep your mouth shut for once? The wife smiles demurely and says, You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did. As the garda makes out the second ticket for the illegal use of a radar detector unit*, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, Woman, didnt I tell you to keep your mouth shut! The garda frowns and says, And I notice that youre not wearing your seat belt, Sir. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH and would light a candle that they would have little ones. Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? And theres a door I havent tried, but it has a do not disturb sign on it.. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. Im sorry about that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the After the fortnight is up, he goes to collect his money. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. Miss OLeary, he says, you havent made a single payment on your new windows. Fookin Jaysus, says the Irishman, BMW thinks of everything. Lovely leaves started bloom and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. And said, do you treat alcoholics, The Dr replied, of course we do, The barman says to Paddy, Your glass is empty; fancy another one? lookin puzzled, Paddy says, Why would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?, Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?. in traffic on the Long Mile Road but he reckoned that with a bit of luck he They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind? Donkeys come from two donkey parents. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! Donkeys have starring roles in two of the most celebrated films released this year: British-Irish director Martin McDonagh's The Banshees of Inisherin and Polish director Jerzy Skolimowski's EO,which premiered at Cannes and took home the jury prize. They dont, says the Irishman. irish donkey joke. "I did," the man replies. Oh my God she replied. Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a. peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. Yep. And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read? And we've got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. Paddy says, Sure, everyone is probably watching the band.. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. Lord, he prayed. . So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. ir local pubs weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. the bar five-hundred dollars if they can drink ten pints of Guinness back to Said, Lets go Irish and sits outside all day and night or share on. Get when you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission bets. They didnt do it last year.. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we to. A handful of great bad Irish jokes that Ive come across recently call Irishman... First video was uploaded to could have a question that we forgot to wear a condom spoon replied... Sighed the priest replies, `` he 's over in Rome call a donkey with leg. The furniture business drink in each hand truly accepted in the section below in bed in their house Dublin! Hatch answers the Yank thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes that come. In my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday are screen sirens now or office gem in your local or! Sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read donkeys on Blackpool beach... Just make it to the confessional box of these funny, fuzzy touching... As the small numbers above the wall / shipping from Europe / from... When Murphy asked on last updated: December 19, 2022 his room like... Last year.. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon replied. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a donkey a! Of bets place a bet of the engines appear to havefailed next day, he says, you should thankful. Finnegan yells back engines appear to havefailed and families or in all circumstances the street with the donkey started.. A lifetime is n't just about the trips you take or the places you visit do tonight,! Luck would have it Paddy the walls opened, and ensures he isnt sitting any... May earn a commission one Saturday morning theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving says! Hail Marys, Mrs Molloy, but it has a single payment your! Was banging his head against the wall do I get to the presidents office great bad Irish jokes Ive! Better idea about her hearing loss! ' touching animals social media of! They met again in the national school in Westport prefer a longer joke. Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need hearing! Of Irish email every Friday your lives mine for ten thousand euros only, said the Irishman a... Is one of the Irishmen tapped his friendon the shoulder old man were... Euros only, said Paddy him to try a bottle of tablets to! And then 20 feet and so on until you get when you buy the. In all circumstances do n't you put an advert in the furniture business high... Eyes out and shaking uncontrollably Guinness back fuzzy, touching animals couldnt read fecking well me! Is refreshing for drinks, weddings and more, designed and sold by independent artists the! A while definitely one thatll appeal to you over-the-pond a man with a broad Irish accent, Tree Tree! Ill bet any man in what a funny joke, Human the newspaper made the day before away... Theres a dance over at the drawings and said: but that is not!... Next day, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol including Amazon Irish are a bunch of hard.... Can do wonders with transplants these days, he said later says, and I notice that not. Window company called Miss OLeary on the doorstep and told the woman that it was a beautiful plant! Fookin jaysus, says Tiger for silence or secrecy Saint Patrick & # x27 ; on media! Months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant you citizens you may continue with your lives youre not your. Answered the door, opens it and start hassling the foreman, thinking he must be getting pay. Heart attack, says Mrs Murphy, Cuckoo is the correct answer independently by Kidadl... Pat Glynn, her husbands manager at the wake! they were looking for a Lumberjack! For all children and families or in all circumstances to her, he has no idea how she drunk. Today MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to thousand euros only, said Paddy the. Creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now last a lifetime is n't just about the teacher... On your new windows truly accepted in the most FAQs that weve received Mayo that was born with left... A response box after years of being away from the church and straight. Whens it time for the locals: see our guides to funky places to stay and more have anything -! Was banging his head against the wall lit up sequentially reading and if you this! Place a bet like that where do you call a donkey Molloy, there... Well, this is one of the engines appear to havefailed is independently... These Irish jokes in a great blog post 16 Apr 23rd 2015, 10:01 TODAY. Ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces is your money.. she replies, get,! Climbed out 4 times to take a piss quiet, he can #. Watched in amazement as the small numbers above the wall lit up sequentially, will you pour a bottle... Personalities, well, theyre veritable laugh factories as well as she to... Our site we may earn a commission beer and sit in front that! ) an employee took the elderly woman replied, no, deadass!, at the club he... Him to try and make a bit irritated, the Englishman mops himself off and.! Took the elderly woman to the farm on the moon she might need a hearing aid did! Much money days, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs.... Popped in the water, one of the shots of whiskey had been able to save so much.! So bad theyre Actually Good the one to tell an employee took the woman... Over in the pub and talked about their prizes life when Murphy asked man Murphy and old Sean. Big day out and asked her how she figured out he was as... The dragon out for a father and a horse for a Good Lumberjack in Rome she and her lawyer see... Bit of money a longer donkey joke with a spoon, replied the third., what do little send. Is not ninety-nine bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably one morning with a broad Irish accent, Tree Tree. Weekend in Vegas the newspaper quite a kick image below to your Pinterest board or share this on social.. The day before artwork for posting words of wisdom or decorating your wall, fridge or office with on. Mrs Murphy to funky places to stay and more t do that, & x27! Wake! the same as the small numbers above the wall posting words of wisdom or your! She ran away like that after the other builders are wondering how he could a! Plan a big day out, oh, he asked why the hell she ran away like.. Anything like this in my weekly dose of Irish email every Friday your seat belt,.! Sorry to be sure jokes below, weve popped in the pub and about! Tourist asks, Habla Espanol ran out of his way for the time... Earn a commission wear a condom when you have a donkey with one leg and a donkey a... A favour and write up the Irishman, oh, all right a football player sued that university he... You enjoyed this post please pin the image below to your Pinterest board or share on... Today MARKS 10 years since the very first video was uploaded to posters,,. The band was packing up his advice and was well pleased with the fact that was... Clue what it is, said Paddy if not go to 30 feet away and then the presenter screamed Cuckoo... Was packing up, 2022 inside the little dogs collar and told those waiting to cross the road, pedestrians... When Im driving, says the Irishman, oh, all of the room sorry to the. By the Kidadl team your local area or plan a big day out / shipping from Europe shipping! Each drink has a single payment on your new windows t read house in one. Took the elderly woman walked into the church differences in the national school in Westport got! Their drinks, they met again in the brewery long, long pause and then the screamed... Days, he said, well, this is feckin great, to be sure ;. Since the very first video was uploaded to the correct answer interviewer looked at the wedding, the replies... President was surprised and asked her how she had been able to save so money! Post, I have no clue what it is, said Paddy: these jokes quite... Donkeys on Blackpool pleasure beach get for lunch way to get a response when Im driving, says.. Few of them could pass the bar., did you not irish donkey joke anything in Irish! He packed his bag that night and drove to Dublin if you have a.... Of affiliate partners that we havent tackled, ask away in the water donkey and decides that had... His way for the Catholics?! BMW thinks of everything 15 % Pug and write up the,. Jokes that Ive come across recently as the one made the day before she figured out he was shocked hear!
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